Cite this journal: Arunrangsiwed, P. (2020). Why was I the perpetrator of bullying in my childhood? Retrieved from https://sw-eden.net/2020/05/20/perpetrator-bully
I had experienced both bullying and bullied other in schools. When I was in the middle school, I was the victim of bullying. I played things like the boy. I ran, climb the tree, and also kept some reptiles. Some classmate in Catholic school bullied me by saying bad things, gossiping, and social isolating on me. I hate that time. I have never expected that teachers would save me from them, but they did. I did not know why they noticed it. I have never told the teachers that I got bullied.
I moved out from that school, because I got the scholarship from other place to continue the high school for free. When I was in the high school, I bullied a female classmate. In that moment, I knew that I did it because I hated her a lot. Later, I could tell the exact reason that I really hated her. She was a kind of woman before the first-wave of feminism. Like, she was the one who worship male friends. Everything that men did toward her was very good. She crushed around many male students in the same school. She killed a lot of insects and lizards, just because she disgusted them. These were the reason I hated this classmate and I bullied her for a month.
I did not want to go back and change anything. I think, if people can travel back in time, they still do the same thing, because they cannot remember the future. If that classmate have been the same kind of person until now, I would not regret of what I did. However, if she got some improvement, I would be sorry that I hurt her.
She was unlike me when I got bullied. This classmate told the teacher that I bullied her. In my case, I did not ask my teachers to save me. I believed that I could live and pass through it. In fact, I should not compare me to the one I did not like. At least, right now, I can identify the reason I bully someone in the past. She was the only one I intended to hurt in my life. That means I really hated her in that time. I feel okay with it now. I got a part of my self-esteem back when I know the exact reason. It also reminds me who I am. I am one of the people who mobilize the society.